Sunday, August 11, 2019

Its 1:39 pm in Chicago. I'm sitting on my porch swing enjoying the most perfect weather God could create. The breeze kisses my cheek like a giddy girlfriend who kisses her new man. It feels good. It makes me smile like I was blessed with a surprise gift. I needed something today considering my morning was a struggle of depression, tears and a bed that refused to set me free. I fought and eventually forced myself to throw one foot on the floor next to the bed. It was a start. Hours later, I'm on my porch swing reading "The Shot Caller", a story of a Latino gangbanger who escaped a violent life to a new life in Christ. My heart is breaking for this man's childhood story. I find my soul fighting...maybe today isn't the day to be reading such an intense book... but I'm needing a story of hope today. As I sit and enjoy the Sunday neighborhood silence, the kisses of the wind, the little girl who rode by on her bike squealing hello, I hear a lady inside her house yelling at the top of her lungs at her child...so loud, I can make out the words. All I can think is, "Why are people so angry in this world?" I just want to invite her to sit with me on my porch swing, close her eyes, breathe and let God kiss her forehead. Then I am reminded, not everyone seeks to be healed. Not everyone tries to escape the darkness within themselves... but there is a God that offers himself in many ways, such as a beautiful summer day or a favorite movie to watch while curled up in bed. We all have pain. We all have struggles... and we all have the opportunity to be loved, seen and kissed by a God who is in the breeze, the house across the street or the darkness of depression. Today, as I fight, I don't want the breeze to stop because right now, it is the breath I can't seem to breathe myself...it cools my face as tears roll down it reminding me, though I feel lonely, I am never alone. I smile as I blow kisses back to my Daddy from his baby girl. #PorchSwingLife #KissOnMyForeheadFromGod #SelfCare #Chicago

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